Accept your Fears to save Time
What you avoid controls you, and what controls you will eventually cause fear in you. We’ll discuss the fears which are often fabricated by our brain that impairs our growth, especially in such a competitive world.
What is Fear?
Fear is a vital response to physical and emotional danger that has been paramount throughout evolutionary history. Without a fear response, people wouldn’t be able to protect themselves from legitimate threats which often had life-or-death consequences in the ancestral world. If you walk through a dark alley, for example, and a group of people seems to be hanging around, you might clench your fist and clutch your wallet a little harder. The danger might be real, definite, immediate, or not there at all.
Fear vs. Anxiety: Understand the Difference
Fear and anxiety often occur together, but these terms are not interchangeable. Even though most of the symptoms overlap, a person’s experience with these emotions differs based on their context. Fear relates to a known threat, whereas anxiety follows from a poorly defined threat. A certain amount of anxiety is good and can improve the ability to perform by causing you to pay attention and put extra effort. Some anticipatory anxiety can also heighten the emotional experience of an event by making it seem more exciting or exhilarating. But for many people anxiety can be debilitating and can impair one’s ability to function. Knowing how to tell the difference between anxiety and fear can be detrimental to your performance and be pivotal to success or failure.
Let us imagine a scenario — you are an entrepreneur, and you find yourself in an Investor Summit alongside a plethora of start-ups who are also eyeing on the biggest investors. This is a high stakes situation. As you inch closer to your pitch, your mind is in the midst of a fierce battleground. You observed that most of the founders are graduates from prestigious universities. Also, while brainstorming on the way, you found a weak link in your pitch which needs immediate attention. Now at this moment, there are two possibilities that can arise; the first possibility is simply the fear of failure, one which has evolved from a deep insecurity that other founders have a better chance at winning than you, who barely passed the third semester. In the second possibility, your attention shifts to the weak link in your pitch which slowly increases your anxiety level.
Do you succumb to the fear of failing and panic beyond control? Do you use anxiety as a tool to focus and make crucial changes to your pitch? The consequences lie in the smallest decisions we make. Eliminating the irrational fear can do wonders eventually pushing your graph upwards.
Different Levels of Fear
If you are wondering that all types of fear are the same then you are mistaken. There is more science to fear than we know, but we will only scratch the surface here. Understanding your fears can help you establish the cause and effect of a chain of thought that usually happens involuntarily.
Level 1: Things that “Happen”
There are things in your life which you can control, for example, choosing which car you want to buy, who you want to hire or fire, whether to watch Netflix or Disney+ and so on. But there are tons of things which you cannot control no matter what degree of a perfectionist you are. Things like aging, becoming disabled, being alone, loss of financial security, Illness, losing a loved one, being interviewed, change of career, retirement and death are part of our lives.
Level 2: Inner State of Mind
These fears have to do with inner states of mind rather than exterior situations. They reflect your sense of strength and your ability to handle the world. This explains why generalized fear takes place. Things like rejection, helplessness, failure, disapproval, being vulnerable, and the loss of image has a very different feel from that of Level 1. Level 2 fears are not physical; they involve the ego. These fears have a deep effect on your social presence. All of us are born to win as long as the ego is kept in check; it is the biggest enemy to us and others around us.
Truths about Fear
We are often blinded by our distractions which hamper our ability to think clearly, to act in a rational manner and they usually lead us to bad situations. These truths will always provide you crystal clear perspective, just follow them.
- The more you grow as a person and step into uncharted territory, the more fear you shall experience. It is only natural that you experience fear of what you have never done before. As long as you push out into the world, extend your capabilities and take risks in making your dreams come true, you are likely to be fearful. Take the big leap.
- The only way to get rid of the fear of something is to go and do it. It is funny how Nike’s advertisement campaign has been focused on just three words. You have to Just Do It, get it done with and find out for yourself that it was not such a big deal after all. Observe the people who achieved impossible, they will tell you how to eliminate fear.
- It isn’t just you who experiences it, everyone has the same feeling. Everyone has a unique life journey and tough experiences, not a single person is immune to fear. Only by fighting your inner demons can you be comfortable with that fear. Every entrepreneur in that Investor Summit had the fear of failure but you had the additional insecurity of failing as a dropout.
- It is less frightening to push through fear than to live a helpless life. No one likes being pushed into depression, especially by their own actions. Moreover, the world is already a competitive battleground which does not allow the weak to win. You have to carve a path for yourself and push your way out of it.
Take Action
If you have read so far that means you are really determined for a change. Change can be discomforting but not changing at all can be severely damaging in the long run. You have to evaluate your state of being from time to time and take action towards a substantial change.
Little things like tidying your room, improving your diet, better sleep routine, meditation, physical exercise and mindfulness have a correlation to enhancing your mind and body.
Take that step towards reconnecting to your buddies from school, network with like-minded people from your field, start writing the journal that made you feel better, cook once in a while with your loved ones, reach out to the person you always admired, consume the kind of information which alleviates your morale and lastly keep yourself so busy that you forget about your fears.
Time management is an important skill to possess. Take responsibility for your growth, if you are responsible, you can be better prepared the next time; you can find out what made the difference.
Relationship with another is the only area where you can give away your power. It is important to look at all other areas of your life as well, to determine where you are not taking responsibility. You are designed to use your personal power but when you don’t, you experience a sense of helplessness, paralysis, and depression — which is an indication that something is not working out. Each time you find yourself in control of your life you are moving to a position of power, which will eventually reduce your fear level.
Conclusion
No one is immune to pain, and it shouldn’t be denied when it exists. The key is to know that you can still lead a productive and meaningful life no matter what the external circumstances are. It is really empowering to have the support of a strong, motivated and inspirational group of people. People who recognize this will never ridicule you for trying to find your purpose. Remind yourself to keep the distance from negative people, instead appreciate people around you who embrace positive thinking in spite of their difficult life. If they can do it so can you.
